Guinness Foreign Extra Stout

Guinness Foreign Extra Stout. 7.5 % ABV. 65 IBU.

Genuine Quality Stout. St. James Gate, Dublin, Ireland. 

And now, part three. This bottle I will now consume is one I am reviewing for the first time. Why, I interrogate of myself, why? If you read part two and my 2003 notes on the Extra Stout, I was desperately in search of the African Foreign Extra Stout. I was hoping one of my African customers at the bar I ran, The Blue Nile, would bring one back for me after a trip back home, from Nigeria, or Ghana, or Cameroon, even Kenya, but that never happened. The closest I came was a friend who was returning from seeing family in Tanzania, but she couldn't do it, although she did bring me a Safari lager from that country. Not the same. 

In 2005, I finally managed to get a bottle of the stuff through a trade-chain, something called Beer It Forward, but this was a bottle from Barbados, closest I could get. It was imported to the U.S., though, but never came to our local market. I will share those notes at the end. A few years later, the Dublin brewery finally began making this beer for the African customers in the U.K., and then started to import it to the U.S. I began to stock it at the Blue Nile, but it wasn't as easy to market it to those who used to drink it back in the Caribbean and Africa, for reasons I'll never figure out. They thought it was the nitro draught stuff, that they hated? I never took notes on those bottles, because I figured that I'd already done it. 

But is Dublin different from Barbados? What a silly question. Off we go to pry off the crown and indulge in this stout that I haven't tried in many a year. 

Solid ebony appearance, complete opacity, with a full, rich, tanned head, all poured into a Lion Stout glass, because apparently I broke the Guinness Foreign Extra Stout glass that I've held onto all these years. No Guinness glasses in my house, but when was the last time I had Guiness at home? Other than last night, or the night before. 

Bottle was set out to reach room temperature. 

In the nose: Cocoa, cola, nuts, a bit of molasses, dark fruits. Moderate bitterness. Intriguing and inviting. 

In the mouth: Lightly bitter, mostly malty, full flavor. Medium to full body. Chocolate and caramel malts are king. Slightly bitter, very dry. Cocoa flavors stay on top. Smooth and flavorful. Pretty well delicious. 

This one was so good, I immediately followed it with another (an unusual occurrence in my household).

(the below ripped from Untappd): PLEASE NOTE: This is the UK and Ireland version only. This version is brewed with pale malt, flaked barley and roasted barley. This differs to the international and Nigerian variants that are brewed under license.

Foreign Extra Stout is a beer like no other. The most full-flavoured of all. Singular and striking. Uniquely satisfying.

Brewed with extra hops and roasted barley for a natural bite. Bitter and sweet. Refreshingly crisp taste. Always rewarding.

Pure beauty. Pure GUINNESS®.

And now, my notes from that Barbados bottle, from 2005: 

A bottle from Barbados, courtesy of Ninjaworm and BiF20 (thanks, Oak!)

thick, opaque, thoroughly black appearance, big, rocky, rumbling, cocoa/ tan head, leaving lace, most impressive look for a stout.

Aroma is sweetness, molasses and brown sugar, and that's about it, but rather full with those flavors...

Taste: big, and brimming with thick, viscous, luscious, sweet dark flavors...thick, and slick on the tongue, sleek, silky, dances on the palate with a light, tangy tango...wow, I'm actually feeling the difference, though...it has a little something in the malt, in the yeast,...maybe I need a bottle of the Extra Stout to compare, but it definitely stands above it. 

Sweet, but a bit complex, and a rich, delicious thing. 

Still on the hunt for the Lagos stuff, but ready to be disillusioned, or at least, understand that it's probably just as good, if not so terribly much better, than this one.

So, 16 years later, I'm still searching for Nigerian, or any African Guinness. If you can help, please call out. It would be nice to close the circle on this particular quest. 

Guinness Extra Stout

 Guinness Extra Stout. St. James Gate, Dublin, Ireland. 5.6 % ABV. 

And now, part two. I will take brief notes on this large bottle of Extra Stout, then compare them with what I first wrote eighteen years ago. Let's crack open this king-size bottle and begin. I don't remember how long it's been since I've had this old favorite, and if I have ever had it in this large bottle, with the Arthur Guinness signature embossed in the glass? And why the big, 22 ounce bottle? Because the 12 ounce bottles weren't available as singles, and I'd rather buy the one (the equivalent of 2 12 ouncers, almost) for $3 than 6 for $9? Or, do I want to feel like a big man, with a big bottle in my hand? Also, I don't have room for six more bottles in my fridge.

Solid blackness, richly roasted tan head, thoroughly opaque. 

In the nose: Cocoa, cream, nuts. dark fruits. Roasty, rich, slightly sweet, delicately bitter. 

In the mouth: Bittersweet, malty, dry. Earthy, roasted, a complex cornucopia of flavors abound on the palate, all that stuff from the nose at play. This is the exemplar of Dry Irish Stout. You might like some better (this is currently ranked only #103 out of all Dry Irish Stouts on BeerAdvocate.com.) Bold, full bodied, long, malty, bittersweet finish. I still like this, after all these years. 

So, a sidebar. I'm not sure what made me drink my first Guinness Extra Stout, but it was the right beer at the right time for me. And it was my favorite beer for a time, along with Bass Ale, until I discovered American crafter beer, and my allegiances to the ales of Ireland and Britain took a backseat. The words I'll share below were written for BeerAdvocate.com in March, 2003, when I was four years into my career as bar manager at the Blue Nile Restaurant & Lounge, and Ethiopian Restaurant, which doubled and tripled as a pan-African/American/Caribbean nightclub, offering many musical styles to delight, well, just about everyone. I grew to learn much about the drinking tastes of our clientele from Africa & the Caribbean. Guinness is second only to Heineken among Africans. 

Here are those notes: 

A personal anecdote: long ago, when I first learned to love beer, Bass and Guinness were my bottles of choice. I had a show of my drawings, some cartoony, some darkly satirical, at a coffee shop near my apartment. My older brother was in town, saw the show, and gave me a surprise visit on a Sunday morning, with bottles all over the floor, from the night before. His judgement: "They're too bitter! Like this beer! LIFE isn't BITTER!"

Ah, ha, ha! Now, I'm not a complete cynic, more a realist in the face of truth, but this example proves a prevalent opinion that divides many beer drinkers on the subject of Guinness.

Another anecdote: at my bar, we sell a ton of Extra to our African and Carribean customers, and we used to also serve it on "draught". I would tell my bartenders that if an African customers asks for Guinness, they want the bottle, and if it's an American, check whether they want tap or bottle. Once a ponytailed caucasian ordered a Guinness and the bartender asked, "Bottle or tap." After stating his preference, he turned to his mate to remark, "What a stupid question!" (It didn't take long for me to realize the draught kegs were moving too slow, and I had the nitro system taken out.)

Color as black as pitch, big, creamy, rocky tan head. Aroma is filled with sweet and roasty flavor, hints of coffee and spice. More flavors come through on the palate, dark cherries, berries, chocolate. Some bitterness, huge and flavorful malt. Long lasting and tasty finish. Bold and substantial, this classic is best consumed cool, not cold. 

Another devotee of "draught" once told me on the subject of stouts, "There's only one!", referring to Guinness. I'm glad that that's not true, but I never turn down Extra Stout.

Now, to get my hands on that African Foreign Extra that I've heard so many fables about!

Drinking this in 2021, I'm wondering how many times have I actually had it on purpose (rather than finishing off a mistakenly opened bottle, after work) in all these years. I was more interested in finding American craft brewed stouts, than continuing to support a massive international conglomerate. And there ain't nothing wrong with that. 

And now, in 2021, what do I think of it? It's not exactly yum a dum dum, but it is still satisfying. 

As deep as Guinness Extra Stout’s color is its taste. Crisp barley cuts through hops. A bite draws you in, bold flavors linger. Bitter marries sweet. A rich, refreshing taste. Brewed with skill. Built to last.

A direct descendant of our archival recipes, Guinness Extra Stout is based on a beer first brewed in 1821, when Arthur Guinness II set down precise instructions for brewing his Superior Porter. This beer has since become the precursor to every Guinness innovation you’ve ever enjoyed. Brewed at our St. James’s Gate brewery in Dublin, Guinness Extra Stout is crafted from finest quality malt, hops and Irish barley.

Sharp and crisp to the taste, it’s an entirely different experience from the smooth, creamy Guinness Draught and punchier Foreign Extra Stout, but the trademark Guinness flavors preside. We’ve come a long way since this beer was first dreamt up in the 1800s, but we’ve stuck to our values. We’re blessed with over 250 years of brewing experience, and, as Guinness moves forward, history accompanies us in the bottle still enjoyed by people all over the world.

Guinness Draught (can)

Guinness Draught (can). Irish Dry Stout.

4.2 % ABV, Guinness Ltd., St. James Gate, Dublin, Ireland, (and who the hell knows where else, all over the world. )

Well, here it is, nearly St. Patrick's Day, and the minds and appetites of beer drinkers everywhere turns to Ireland and it's stouts. Except me. Why does a guy with an Irish name practically boycott St. Paddy's day every year. I'm just naturally contrary, I guess.

It occurs to me that something is very missing from the Bitter Nib, and it is Guinness Stout. If you check entries under the Guinness name here, you'll find three beers by that brewing conglomeration, and none of them are stouts: Harp Lager, Smithwick's Irish Red Ale, and Guinness Blonde Lager. All three of these were samples given by the distributor to intice me into ordering kegs for St. Patrick's Day. It didn't work, but I did write reviews of them. 

When I check over on BeerAdvocate.com, it looks like I've had four from that company, (not counting the aforementioned three above) all of them their stouts. So, what I'm going to do, my friends, is revisit three of them (I don't know when I'll ever see the Belgian Guinness again), then look back at my old reviews, all in time for the grand Gaelic holiday. 

First, tonight, a can of the nitro-widget "draught", which I did not purchase. How did it end up in my possession? I dropped it. Accidentally, of course. And the cans fell in such a way that the tops bumped out in a convex fashion, making them ultimately un-resalable, and were offered up for grabs, so I took some home. Who am I to turn away free beer? And, while it's not my favorite, it's still an okay beer, which one can actually drink. 

One last thing, looking at my notes from a bottle in March, 2003,  I gave it a rating of 2.88/5, roughly 20% below the average. On the other hand, my review of Extra Stout, also from March, 2003, was a rating of 4.33/5, 14.9 % above the average. 

So, we crack the can open, and the cascading effect begins immediately before I can take a good picture. After it settled, we have a full ebon appearance (or is it "dark ruby"?), completely opaque, with a lush, lasting, creamy head.

In the nose: smooth, creamy blend of cocoa, coffee, cream, and dark fruits, whipped up ethereally by nitrogen. 

In the mouth: Light bitterness, lean and clean, mostly malty. But the creamy, nitrogen quality makes it much lighter than I care for, smoother than a stout should be, in my opinion. This is very popular, but I'll never understand why. For the same reason Coors Light is popular, and Miller, and Stella and such. Whatcha gonna do? 

This is the sort of thing I would drink in a social situation if offered, but only if there were no alternatives. If it were the only option on tap, maybe, probably. It certainly doesn't deliver what I look for in a stout. 

Now, those notes from 2003, several years after the initial introduction of the nitro bottles: 

Pouring the contents of this unique, innovative bottle creates the mythical creamy head and the magical flowing cascade, so favored in the pubs. Or is it just a cheap imitation?

Aroma nicely hints at coffee and cream, and a touch of chocolate, rich and luscious. Small amounts of bitterness,but exceptionally smooth on the tongue. Light body, thin texture, and far too soft for my taste.

It took me a while to understand the supreme appeal of Draught Guinness, for the Extra Stout was my bottle of choice in early days. I did a taste test between the two, and ultimately found that the draught version resembles a chocolate milkshake, or a mocha latte. It's for people who want to go beyond fizzy lagers and such, but don't really want to approach the bold flavors and bitterness in a true stout or porter.

Short and to the point. And, why not? 

Swirling clouds tumble as the storm begins to calm. Settle. Breathe in the moment, then break through the smooth, light head to the bittersweet reward.

Unmistakeably GUINNESS, from the first velvet sip to the last, lingering drop. And every deep-dark satisfying mouthful in between.

Pure beauty. Pure GUINNESS.

Guinness Draught is sold in kegs, widget cans, and bottles. The ABV varies from 4.1 to 4.3%.

Lagunitas Stereohopic IPA Vol. 1

Lagunitas StereoHopic IPA Vol. 1.

7.2 % ABV, 65 IBU, Lagunitas Brewing, Petaluma, CA, & Chicago, IL. 

Clear, bright golden hue, large and lasting ivory head. Looking good.

In the nose: popping with citrus, berries and melon. Lovely stuff. 

In the mouth: Blast of bitterness blazes the palate, then mellows out and lets malt take over. Fresh, zesty, crisp and clean. Long, hoppy finish. Abundance of flavors pounce on the senses, lemon, orange, grapefruit, stone fruit, melon and more, all blended beautifully. 

Again, I consume the first five of this 6-pack with wild abandon, and saved the sixth for now. You should still be able to find some. If you do, grab it up. 

You'll experience how Nelson's catty notes of pear, honeysuckle, and lychee, align with Mosaic's dank bits of dark fruit, berries, and pine. Full-frequency, 4-D flavor in a 3-D world. Now, kick off your kicks, kick back, crack one open, tune out, turn on, and enjoy this StereoHopic Sound: Version 1. 

Big Axe Triple Double double dry-hopped triple IPA

 Big Axe Triple Double (double dry-hopped triple IPA)

10.5 % ABV, 100 IBU. Big Axe Brewing, Nisswa, MN. 

Clear, bright golden hue, slim, but lasting ivory head. 

In the nose: intense citrus, ripe lemon and grapefruit, candied orange, big and raw.

In the mouth: All that and more on the palate, citrus, tropical notes, stone fruit and then some. Orange, pineapple, apricot. Higher alcohol roars in from the start. Body is lean and light, malt is meager and mellow. High hops, big bitterness. Finishing soft and dry. 

This is damned good stuff. I would never turn one away. 

Although, I must make one criticism. Spruce up your labels, guys. If you're going to market, put something pretty on your cans. Someone at the brewery must have a cousin with design skills, or a regular at the taproom, or ...anything's better than "comic sans" taped to the front. 

Double dry hopped (DDH) New England style Triple IPA clocks in at 10.5 %ABV and is loaded with hop flavor and aroma, including intense orange, pineapple and tropical notes along with soft bitterness and mild alcohol warm.

Three Floyds Barrel-aged Blot Out the Sun Imperial Stout

Three Floyds Barrel-aged Blot Out the Sun Imperial Stout.

10.4 % ABV, 97 IBU. Three Floyds Brewing, Munster, IN. 

Black as the Dark Lord's soul, completely opaque, with a large, rich, roasted tan head. 

In the nose: Bourbon bomb, but the bones of a deep, dark, immense imperial stout stick out. Charcoal, anise, molasses, chocolate, coffee, and the toasted remains of the corpses of your vanquished foes, all holding hands and skipping to and fro ...while the cries and lamentations of their women and children ring loudly throughout the smoldering remains of their once proud land. 

In the mouth: A jolt of sweet malt, vanilla, caramel, toffee, dark fruits, coffee and cocoa.. a mellifluous melange of dark, rich flavors that accompanies the swell of joy you feel when you stride the path of destruction caused by you and your unholy horde, having just laid to waste the formerly glorious Kingdom of Karsh-Allath-Gorg-ku'um, and it's ruler, the Mighty Morgukallal, Merchant of Woe and Sire of the Unholy Bastions of Evil, the Knights of the Despoiling.

Bold and bittersweet, like the feeling you experienced as you silenced the cries of the children of Mighty  Morgukallal with your many-taloned boots, coated thickly with the blood of many conquered enemies, many deserving, none truly innocent. As full as a body can be, as your belly is at the Feast of Devastation, after having eviscerated an entire herd of demon wolves and consumed their bedeviled remains, slowly roasted at the Pit of Righteous Deflowering. 

In other words: Yum. A Dum. Dum. 

"Since the dawn of time it has been mankind’s dream to blot out the sun." -C. Montgomery Burns

(Hey, Three Floyds, hire me to write your label copy, okay? Or the descriptions on your taproom menu, when it reopens...soon, I hope...)

Pipeworks Unicorn Space Base Hazy India Pale Ale

Pipeworks Unicorn Space Base Hazy India Pale Ale. with Galaxy, Amarillo, Idaho 7 and Cryo Simcoe hops. 

7 % ABV, Pipeworks Brewing, Chicago, IL. 

All haze-ified, bright golden hue, slim white layer of foam. 

In the nose: There's the fuzz, the bold citrus and sweet tropical. 

In the mouth: Grassy, piney, and slightly tropically, but altogether citrusy. Low bitterness, of course. Lemon, orange, mango, pineapple, passionfruit. Smooth, soft, and easy drinking. Medium bodied. Nails the hazy style perfectly. If you're into that sort of thing. 

Soft, with tropical aromatic waves of pineapple, papaya, good cannabis and mango, bursting like stars out from these suds.

Hubbard's Cave Vanilla Coffee & Cakes Stout

Hubbard's Cave Vanilla Coffee & Cakes Stout. Imperial Stout with coffee, maple syrup and vanilla.

12 % ABV. Hubbard's Cave, a subsidiary of Une Anee' Brewery, Niles, IL. 

According to Untappd, this is a "Stout- Imperial / Double Pastry" It has coffee and maple syrup and vanilla, all ingredients we find in our pastries. I won't get started, I promise. I've made my feelings none previously. 

This, I must be upfront about, is not the sort of thing I'd spend my money on. I didn't have to, so it came into my possession, and because of that, I must review it. Of course, I didn't have to take it home, but then, that wouldn't be being me, would it, now? 

Ebon-hued, complete opacity, thick, lasting deep brown head. Impressive looking. 

In the nose: Coffee hits first, then vanilla rises up, followed by cocoa. No sign of maple, yet. Wait, here it is. Not too shabby. 

In the mouth: Here vanilla is king, sweetness boldly taking charge. It's all malt, no hops. And it only gets sweeter. Maple syrup charges in. Coffee lays low. Alcoholic strength starts big and stays big. I could handle this better at less than 12%, even less than 10. Right now, it's a bit much. 

Assessment: it's massive, rich and sweet, with a killer punch. Definitely a sipper, you're sitting in for the long haul, unless you've got a death wish. Coffee component remains minor compared to the other adjuncts. Tasty stuff, if a bit too outsized. So, I didn't hate it, so sue me. 

Imperial Stout with SPUTNIK Coffee and Maple Syrup finished on vanilla beans

Junkyard Fancy Footwork India Pale Ale

Junkyard Fancy Footwork India Pale Ale. 

8.1 % ABV. Junkyard Brewing, Moorhead, MN. 

Hazy as they get, bright (as they can get, amid all the murkiness) golden hue, long-lived, snow-white head. 

In the nose: Hoppy and fuzzy. Citrus, lemon, grapefruit, flashes of tropical fruit coming in from behind. 

In the mouth: Easy, breezy, boozy.  Medium bodied, full of fruity bits, mild bitterness, juicy and wet. The higher ABV comes creeping in. Just enough bitterness keep my palate happy, just enough juicy to please the rest of me. Smooth and easy drinking. I'm enjoying this delightful little number. 

Junkyard keeps making these great IPAs, and I keep drinking them. 

Guys, I'm going to let you in on a little secret though. I try to not review beers from the same brewery after one another, so I made a little rule for this blog a few years back. There must be six reviews of other breweries between two reviews from the same brewery. The last Junkyard review I did was 11 reviews ago. And I have another IPA in the fridge. And there's another IPA in the cooler at the store that I haven't picked up yet. And there will probably be more arriving this week. Do I purchase one of those stouts before they sell out, you know, the ones without marshmallow? Or keep buying the IPAs, and never drink anything but their IPAs, which I will always enjoy? 

Whatever happens, I'll keep drinking them. 

Goose Island Tropical Beer Hug DDH Double IPA

Goose Island Tropical Beer Hug DDH Double IPA. "Tropical. Smooth. Hop Explosion." 

9.9% ABV, 45 IBU. Goose Island Beer, Chicago, IL and elsewhere. 

Let us state a few factoids before beginning. I do not keep up with the Goose Island Beer Company, for various reasons, though I am not necessarily anti-Goose Island. They're just not a priority. But then along comes this new beer that I've never heard of, being released in the format of the 19.2 ounce can for $2.99. There are other DIPAs that exist in this format, from Sierra Nevada and New Belgium, among others, I am sure. But none of them are DDH DIPAs, which is the hippest, hottest style of the moment, surpassed only by for DDH TIPAs. (Where are you, DDH QIPA?)

So, though the DDH isn't really my thing, I picked it up and I'll review it, because you can't can't beat a 10% DIPA for $3, can you? In a 19 oz. can? That's like finding a DIPA 6-pack for $11, and that doesn't happen. 

Label illustration: a bear made of hops wearing sunglasses underneath palm fronds. Because, of course. 

Clear (holy moly, a DDH that's not also a hazy/NE? What?), bright golden color, large and lasting, creamy white head. 

In the nose: Citrus, pine, and hints at tropical fruits. Orange and grapefruit meet pineapple and passionfruit. 

In the mouth: Big bite of bitter at the start, turning juicy and fruity. The sting of the strength starts off quickly and attacks with a vengeance, but never gets angry, just spreads boozy joy. Juicy/fruity ultimately turns to dry and delicious. Tropical tones start to lead the domination of the palate. Getting tastier and tastier. Bright, crisp, all manner of citrus and tropical yum a dum dum. 

Is there an arms race for DIPAs in 19.2 ounce cans. It's crazy. What if there were 40 ounce bottles of DIPA for $6? Wouldn't that be insane? I'm living in a cuckoo clock! 

Breckenridge Single Hop IPA

 Breckenridge Single Hop IPA.

6.3 % ABV, Brieckenridge Brewery, Littleton, CO. 

Clear, bright golden hue, slim, but lasting, layer of ivory foam. 

In the nose: Wonderful expression of hops, sending off citrus and melon and more. 

In the mouth: Juicy and fruity from the start, with an appropriate amount of bitterness, blessing the palate. None too anything here, so far. Quite tasty. Citrus and tropical notes abound. Medium bodied, long, hoppy finish. Palate pleasing and easy drinking. 

Brewed with Strata hops. Notes of passion fruit, orange, tropical fruits, and berry. 

Collective Arts / Mikkeller Origin of Darkness Imperial Stout w/ Almond Milk & Coffee

Collective Arts / Mikkeller Origin of Darkness Bourbon barrel-aged Imperial Stout w/ Almond Milk & Coffee.

11.3 % ABV, Collective Arts Brewing, Hamilton, ON, CAN. 

Solid blackness, complete opacity. no head, not even for a second. 

In the nose: Rich, immense, bleak. Darkness personified. Over-powering bourbon barrel effects. Molasses, anise, dark fruits, charcoal. And coffee, some coffee. And, hey, am I picking up on the almond milk, too? 

In the mouth: Thick. Viscous. Powerful. Earthy. And just a little bit creamy. Milk and coffee. Full bodied. Beyond full. Powerful. Coffee is king, ultimately, barrel-aging is in the backseat. And it's increasingly delicious. I'm digging it big time. 

In an homage to their iconic Beer Geek Breakfast series, we brewed a vegan-latte inspired imperial stout. Aged in freshly emptied Kentucky Bourbon Barrels, this brew gets a jolt of caffeine from roasted coffee beans from Detour Coffee, and some smoothness from Almond Milk from Earth’s Own plant based beverage company.

Swing Barrel Cheater Hops IPA

Swing Barrel Cheater Hops New England India Pale Ale. 

7.5 % ABV. Brewed and packaged in Moorhead, MN. Swing Barrel Brewing Company is an independently owned and operated craft brewery located in Moorhead, MN, 56560. 

So, there I am minding my own business amongst the beer shelves when along comes a man who recognizes me as an employee of the retail store where I currently work, a man I've never met before, and he says, hey, I'd like to share a beer with you. It's from Moorhead, where I'm from, and I don't really drink IPAs, but maybe you'd like it. Well, that sure is nice. I'll bring it by tomorrow, he says. Oh, too bad, I tell him, I have the day off tomorrow. You know what, he says, I'll just walk down to my house and get it for you, says Greg. Some time later, my boss approaches me and hands me this crowler. Is this from Greg, I ask. Yes, it is. I don't think my boss likes IPAs. And also, it seems that he was going to bring this brewery in already, without free crowlers from Greg. And now I have a new IPA from Moorhead that's not Junkyard, and I have Greg to thank, and also John. Let's drink it...

What does "cheater hops" mean? I've only encountered this phrase before from beers out of Junkyard, also in Moorhead. Is it really cheating if you're just crafting a great recipe from the best ingredients at hand? The label seems to imply that a certain New England football team and it's quarterback may have been guilty of cheating at some point? I don't follow the sports balls. 

Thorughly hazed, with an oddly orange coloration, smack between gold and crimson, and a stable, white head. It's not quite the right look for the style, and that's setting the tone for the proceedings. 

In the nose: a fruity melange, some citrus and tropical notes, with plenty of malt back-up. 

In the mouth: Juicy, fruity, malty, plenty of hops shining through. Soft, mellow, smooth. Low bitterness. More malty. Nice, hoppy flavors, but...it's just ...missing something. Some spark that it lacks. It seems to be stuck between styles, not quite clicking. Average. Mediocre. Not really anything to talk about. Huh. Whatever. 

Is this "New England" because it's hazy, or...there's something missing in this recipe, not quite delivering on whatever the promise is...

Cheaters? Maybe. But one cannot argue with results, and Citra, Mosaic, and Simcoe hops win the day in this juicy New England Style India Pale Ale. 

It...it just doesn't work. It's an okay beer, and one can still drink it, but...sigh...

Augustiner Maximator Doppelbock

Augustiner Maximator Doppelbock.

7.5 % ABV. 

Brewed and bottled in Munich, Germany by Augustiner Brewery. 

So, there I am looking at the list of top-rated doppelbocks on BeerAdvocate and the first one that I hadn't had was this one. Had I had anything from Augustiner-Brau? I have a review of their Edelstoff lager from May of 2010 on BeerAdvocate. I didn't care for it then, so I think I'll try it again. Meanwhile, I'll try this one for the first time. We have it at the store where I work, and I talked the manager into singling them out. Not enough space in my fridge for another 6-pack of doppelbocks. (He says, though he just stuffed it with IPAs, double IPAs, and barrel-aged barleywines.)

On to the beer: 

Clear, caramel/brown-ish hue, cream-toned, short-lived head.

In the nose: Classic malty notes dominate, dark fruits, figs and raisins, caramel and toffee. Brown sugar, molasses. Sweet stuff, but well-balanced. 

In the mouth: Sticky, sweet, and ever-so tasty. Lightly roasty/toasty. Medium bodied, moderate strength, low bitterness, and richly rewarding. Flavors from the aroma arrive on the palate. Goes down nice and easy. An utter delight. 

The pleasant, dark Doppelbock of monasterial origin, especially suited for festivities during the chilly season.

Surly Periscope Pale Ale

Surly Periscope Pale Ale. 

5.5 % ABV, Surly Brewing, Minneapolis/Brooklyn Center. 

This is my last remaining can from the Mixed Messages sampler pack, and it was the only beer in that package that I'd never had before. I went through 3 Furious, 3 Grindcore, 3 Fall to Pieces, and 2 of these just to get to this moment, this can, this blog post. Will it be worth it? We shall see...

Clear, bright golden hue, large and lasting, lace-leaving white head. Looking good. 

In the nose: Bold, assertive, hop-centric aromatics. Citrus all the way. Lemon, orange, grapefruit. 

In the mouth: Fresh, zesty, bright and beautiful. Light-bodied, refreshing, delicious. I like a good pale ale, and this is one, for sure. To use a phrase I normally despise, it's crushable. That what I will do to the can, when I'm done. And I'll figuratively "crush" the contents of this glass, as it exits the pint and fill my belly in no time flat. 

A classic pale ale, dry-hopped with Centennial hops, available exclusively in our Mixed Messages variety pack.

BlackStack DDH Sponge Bath DIPA

BlackStack DDH Sponge Bath DIPA.

8.5 % ABV, BlackStack Brewing, St. Paul, MN. 

This is the sort of beer that I do not normally purchase. I am striving to avoid 4-packs that retail at $16 and up. There's a lot of good beers out there to drink that don't push those particular limits. This one, though, was sold as single for $5 or so, and I picked one up, why not. If it were up to me, all of those "spendy" 4-packs would be on the single shelf, if only for a little while. But, it's not my call, just one of my many struggles. 

Hazy as hazy gets, bright golden coloration, slim white head. 

In the nose: Bold citrus notes, and more. Lemon, tangerine, grapefruit, mango, orange. Bright and sunny. 

In the mouth: Comes on soft and smooth, with a certain citrus spike in the flavors. All the above return on the palate. "Pillowy" mouthfeel, sure. (Who came up with that dumb phrase?) Juicy, of course. Low bitterness...the kind I hate. This succeeds spectacularly at a style I've come to despise more and more. For me, a "double IPA" should not just be higher alcohol, but also double the bitterness. Not here, no way. I get no kicks out of it, that's for sure. It tastes fine, I guess, but this style is so antithetical to what I enjoy in a real IPA, I really should avoid them altogether, except...

...except that's all anyone makes anymore. And they put them out without labeling them as such. And it's just so fucking boring...sigh...And if they make a non-hazy IPA, they have to act cutely ironic about it...

We’ve been honing our soft & squishy IPA game since we opened our doors 3 ½ years ago. Our constant pursuit of pillowy hop perfection leads us down many paths, but some combinations lather better than others. Double portions of our hand selected Citra Cryo, Mosaic, Cashmere Cryo & Strata. Soothing and refreshing, just like a sponge bath at Burning Man. Relax, Rinse & Repeat.

"Soft & Squishy" is not how I'd ever refer to a good IPA. It's the end times, people. 

Great Lakes Tripel Dog Dare Belgian Style Triple Ale

Great Lakes Tripel Dog Dare Belgian Style Triple Ale. 

9% ABV, 30 IBU. Great Lakes Brewing, Cleveland, OH. 

Clear...-ish. There are floaties about. This is not an old bottle. I purchased it in December, I believe. Or, early January. 

Color, a bright amber. Not quite the color I desire in this style, which would be a brighter gold. They can't all be Tripel Karmeliet, I guess. Slim white head. 

In the nose: Citrus and spice. Slice of funk. Banana and clove? Bubblegum. Touch of floral. 

In the mouth: Starts out pulpy and sweet. Not as clean and lean as I like from this style. Big, boisterous fruit and side of spice. ABV rises up to greet with a quickness. Bubblegum bubbles over the fruit. Much malt, minor hop bitterness. Full flavors.

This may not be the best American-brewed Belgian-style tripel, but I sure do enjoy the heck out of it. 

It’s the coup de grace of all beers! Brazenly bold with spicy clove and citrus aromas, Tripel Dog Dare is fodder for the rabble-rouser and mischief-maker in all of us.​ 

More Two Trees Double India Pale Ale

More Two Trees Double India Pale Ale.

8 % ABV, More Brewing, Huntley, IL. 

And now we have my first beer from the More Brewing Company of Illinois. I liked that it was a 4-pack of 16-ouncers for under $12. If I like this one, maybe I'll try some more...More. No pun intended, actually, I just sort of fell naturally into that. Sigh...okay, on with the beer. 

Clear (for a refreshing change of pace), bright golden, large and looming ivory head. 

In the nose: A sweetness kicks it off. There's citrus and pine, accompanied by pineapple and other tropical tones. Starting soft and quiet, rising in volume. 

In the mouth: Dank and delicious from the first sip. Big malt, big hops, fierce bitterness at the start. Hop bitterness lasts long on the palate. Ends on a dry note. Big citrus and pine, with that side order of sweet and fruity. There's something a little extra in it that I can't quite pin down, just yet. It'll come to me. Spruce tips, maybe. And I'm definitely tasting Simcoe in the hop bill, as well as some of the usual suspects, Centennial, Cascade, maybe. All the good ones. 

A delightful little hop bomb, with high ABV rising up assuredly. There's one in your corner, More, I will return for...additional servings of your fine ales. This one is right up my alley. 

The Double IPA version of our To The Trees, American IPA. Each sip drips with spruce resin backed with floral and lemongrass notes. It’s all wrapped in smooth, dry drinkability punctuated with a delectable medium bitterness.

All of these forest-fresh flavors come from a lush combo of Amarillo, Centennial, CTZ, and Simcoe hops.

Bent Paddle Barrel-aged Extra Baked Stout with Chocolate, Coconut + Vanilla Flavor

Bent Paddle Barrel-aged Extra Baked Stout with Chocolate, Coconut + Vanilla Flavor.

8.3 % ABV, 48 IBU. Bent Paddle Brewing, Duluth, MN. 

I've stated it before, but it may need reiteration. This blog and this writer are boycotting any use of the word "pastry" in connection with beer. It's a marketing term, like "smoothie sour", but it is dumb to the core. We were fine with "dessert stout/beer" before this, why the need for "pastry" when connection with ale, lager, porter or stout. Just because it has raspberries, it's now a "pastry" beer. So very stupid. And if I see "pastry" on the label, I'm staying away. 

This is the one that tricked me. I looked at the package and liked the fact that they weren't calling this beer a "pastry stout", until I bought it, brought it home, and looked at the back. You'll see that copy reproduced at the bottom.

But, on with the beer: 

Solid black, near-thorough opacity, under a slim layer of brown head. 

In the nose: Coconut is king. Toasted and roasted. Chocolate lies just below, with vanilla coming in from behind. Sweet stuff, here. 

In the mouth: Big coconut, big sweetness. Too much sweet? Let's see. Well, it covers up everything, utterly dominates. Chocolate still lurks beneath, vanilla on the side. Mostly malty affair, minor bitterness. And abundant coconut. Full bodied, long, sweet finish. Nicely balanced, actually, but I'm not picking up anything from a barrel. "Bourbon Barrels" for three months? Only getting a little bit of whiskey barrel...maybe six months would've helped. Just the barest amount. 

All in all, an indulgent dessert beer. A bit over-indulgent in the coconut department, but, you know, if you're going to go, go all the way. 

Our Extra Baked Pastry Stout is loaded with decadent flavor. It's first "Baked" with Stout Malt, Oats, Chocolate Rye and assorted Crystal Malts. It's "Extra Baked" by aging it in Bourbon Barrels for three months with pastry staples of Chocolate, Coconut and Vanilla. This beer is a celebration of some of the best dessert flavors we could stir up! Cheers! 

Junkyard Final Boss New England Style Double IPA

Junkyard Final Boss New England Style Double IPA. With Citra, Bru-1, Galaxy, and Wai-iti hops. 

8.5 % ABV, Junkyard Brewing, Moorhead, MN. 

All the haze and the fuzz. Bright golden hue, large, lush and lasting snow white head. 

In the nose: Ah, yes. Beautiful. Citrus-y, zesty, fruity, floral, and fun. 

In the mouth: Mild bitterness, ever-present hoppiness, bursts of citrus and stuff. Plenty of fuzz. Plenty of juice, orange and melon, fresh and delicious. There's just enough bitterness in this that I don't get all cranky and curse all of the young whippersnappers, it clings to the palate so long that I'm no longer Old Man Yells At Clouds. Juicy, juicy, juicy, says Cary Grant, and along comes the booze, lifting it up to the higher heights. 

New England Style Double IPA that was hopped with Citra, Bru-1, Galaxy, and Wai-iti. This bad guy boasts earthy flavors and melon notes. The palate is complimented by aromas of sweet orange and pine. These factors combine to create a dank beer with a lasting bitter finish that can’t be defeated.