Bud Light Platinum

Bud Light Platinum. Wow. Platinum. 6% ABV. Triple Fermented, I hear. Anheuser Busch, St. Louis, MO. Lager 12 fl. oz. Born on date: 12007vx78. whatever that means.

"Platinum ( /ˈplætɨnəm/ or /ˈplætənəm/) is a chemical element with the chemical symbol Pt and an atomic number of 78."

Yellow, no head. Active carbonation. Not appealing to look at. Could have just the same being peering at my toilet bowl. But no one is really looking at this, it's being chugged from a bottle.

Even though it has six naturally occurring isotopes, platinum is one of the rarest elements in the Earth's crust and has an average abundance of approximately 5 μg/kg. It is the least reactive metal. It occurs in some nickel and copper ores along with some native deposits, mostly in South Africa, which accounts for 80% of the world production.

Aroma: cereal grains. Probably a lot of rice. Nothing else. Wet water and weak everything else. Moist air. 

As a member of the platinum group of elements, as well as of the group 10 of the periodic table of elements, platinum is generally non-reactive. It exhibits a remarkable resistance to corrosion, even at high temperatures, and as such is considered a noble metal. As a result, platinum is often found chemically uncombined as native platinum. Because it occurs naturally in the alluvial sands of various rivers, it was first used by pre-Columbian South American natives to produce artifacts. It was referenced in European writings as early as 16th century, but it was not until Antonio de Ulloa published a report on a new metal of Colombian origin in 1748 that it became investigated by scientists.

Taste: must I? I must. Tons of carbonation. Bristling bubblation on the palate, then gone, then nothing. Nothing from nothing means nothing. Gotta have something. And we got nothing. The tongue sticks in the liquid and pulls out…nothing. The mind races for something and comes back with nothing. Is it a beer? Is it a plane? It's …nothing. It's watered down alcopops. It's a bottle of Smirnoff Ice added to a gallon of ice water. 

Platinum is used in catalytic converters, laboratory equipment, electrical contacts and electrodes, platinum resistance thermometers, dentistry equipment, and jewelry. Because only a few hundred tonnes are produced annually, it is a scarce material, and is highly valuable and is a major precious metal commodity. Being a heavy metal, it leads to health issues upon exposure to its salts, but due to its corrosion resistance, it is not as toxic as some metals. Its compounds, most notablycisplatin, are applied in chemotherapy against certain types of cancer.^[2]

Enough carbonation to make you think you're drinking beer. But, that would be a lie and that would be wrong. What could I say to sell this more than "less watery than water"? "Less pungent than pee?"

As a pure metal, platinum is silvery-white, lustrous, ductile, and malleable.^[3] Platinum is more ductile than gold, silver and copper, thus being the most ductile of pure metals, but gold is still more malleable than platinum ^[4][5] It does not oxidize at any temperature, although it is corroded by halogens, cyanides, sulfur, and caustic alkalis. Platinum is insoluble inhydrochloric and nitric acid, but dissolves in hot aqua regia to form chloroplatinic acid, H₂PtCl₆.^[6]

Blah, blah, blah. Wait, I meant, "fullest expression yet known of Bud Light. Bud Light to the Nth Degree. Ne Plus ultra Bud Light. Etcetera."

Higher alcohol, no extra flavor or body, Bud Light Blah. I don't know how else to explain it.

Platinum is an extremely rare metal,^[11] occurring at a concentration of only 0.005ppm in the Earth's crust.^[12][13] It is sometimes mistaken for silver (Ag). Platinum is often found chemically uncombined as native platinum and alloyed with iridium as platiniridium. Most often the native platinum is found in secondary deposits; platinum is combined with the other platinum group metals in alluvial deposits. The alluvial deposits used by pre-Columbian people in the Chocó Department, Colombiaare still a source for platinum group metals. Another large alluvial deposit is in the Ural Mountains, Russia, and it is still mined.^[6]

Who is this meant for, I wonder? Bud Light drinkers who want to step up, but not all the way to Budweiser, or Select, or what-have-you? Drinkers who want watery, but not that watery?

Platinum's rarity as a metal has caused advertisers to associate it with exclusivity and wealth. "Platinum" debit cards have greater privileges than do "gold" ones.^[52] "Platinum awards" are the second highest possible, ranking above "gold", "silver" and "bronze", but below diamond. For example, in the United States, a musical album that has sold more than 1 million copies, will be credited as "platinum", whereas an album that sold more than 10 million copies will be certified as "diamond".^[53] Some products, such as blenders and vehicles, with a silvery-white color are identified as "platinum". Platinum is considered a precious metal, although its use is not as common as the use of gold or silver. The frame of the Crown of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, manufactured for her coronation as Consort of King George VI, is made of platinum. It was the first British crown to be made of this particular metal.

Ah, ha! I knew there had to be a reason this is called "Platinum." I knew it wasn't found in alluvial deposits, and it's most certain to oxidize in certain temperatures. How precious and rare is this beer? That is yet to be seen. I haven't found anything in it to convince me it will last.

But, I hope you enjoyed learning about Platinum! Thanks, Wikipedia!

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