Thursday, October 5, 2017

Oliphant Honees Honees

Oliphant Honees Honees. Peanut Butter Honey Ale. 5.6% alc./vol. "ale brewed with honey & lactose with peanut butter flavor and caramel color."

Clear, dark amber color, slim white head.

In the nose: Malty sweet, low hop bitterness, and, hey, there it is, that blend of peanut butter and honey. Huh. Very interesting.

In the mouth: Peanut butter is big in the flavor, but not overpowering. Medium-bodied, long, sweet finish. But never too, not so much. Just right. Very well-balanced. Tasty, smooth, likable. I can see this pleasing a certain sort. As for me, I've cracked the last can of the four, and I'm happy to move on. I'm glad it exists, I'm happy for those who like it, but it's not the sort of thing that trips this guy's trigger.

In all, good peanut butter/honey beer, and you can drink it.

I could give you a link, and have you go find this on your own, but, no, I'm not like that. Here you go, straight from the deranged mind of, I think, Matt?

while rising from the smoke, the snake-god burped forth a decorated warrior. 

this warrior was decorated with jiffy jars, with honees wrappers, and that particular sulphuric stench of rebellion. part devil, part gentleman, part legume, the warrior began to dance through the haze, stepping intricate circles on the ground with his feet and conjuring in the air with an open palm and a honey wand.

the snake-god was taken aback and was unsure of the next course of action. he knew this warrior to be trouble but he saw that the warrior was working on dimensions far from his own and with a puff he saw the warrior disappear, by either will or conjuring, away from his presence. 

the snake-god slithered on. 

-------------------------------

matt sitting at his kitchen counter, hummed softly. the kitchen was cluttered but the day was over and the candles lit so there was nothing to be done about the mess. the small flames flickered in the kitchen as he closed the shade in front of him and began to prepare his meal. 

there was whole wheat bread in front of him and he crinkled his nose at it but had to eat it anyway, there was chunky chunky peanut butter, and there was a dab bottle of honey. nothing fancy, nothing too special. matt felt a little different as he began to assemble the sandwich -- he realized that he was making it slower than usual, with more care, and somehow the tune he was humming seemed to fit in with it. as if he was constructing an idea more so than just a sandwich. 

for a second the candles blew themselves out and matt constructed the sandwich in the darkness as if he hadn't realized. the candles flickered themselves back on and standing just outside his formerly shaded window was a grand peanut butter & honey warrior. a happenstance light of moon shining directly on him as the warrior danced in infinite circles. 

matt ate the peanut butter & honey sandwich slowly as the warrior danced behind the glass, candles swaying in time. 

after that heartbeat of infinity, a loud crash seemed to emanate from somewhere and matt, in sudden realization, found he had devoured his sandwich and just five feet from his window was a truck -- it's axle split in half as it had jumped the concrete embankment into his yard. the driver circling the car frantically, looked at matt through the window and ran away. 

and it dawned on matt, then and there --

honees honees | peanut butter & honey ale | 5.5% abc



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