Bell's Uranus The Magician

I haven't been on top of this Bell's Planets series as well as I wish I had been. But I don't haunt the stores with much frequency or regularity, either. If I don't need any beer, I don't go shopping. Which was how I fall out of the loop on stuff like this. I've had Mercury, Venus and Mars, but missed out on Saturn and  Jupiter, and now finally I am about to taste Uranus. And then Neptune. (What did you think there should have been a joke back there? I didn't.)

So, here we are, planet # 7. Big gas giant. Discovered in 1787 by William Herschel. Has five moons, Miranda, Puck, Oberon, Ariel, Titania. Coldest of all the planets. I'd like to visit, from a distance, but wouldn't want to live there.

And Bell's Uranus The Magician, for the sixth movement in Gustav Holst's Planets symphony, is a Black Double  India Pale Ale. 9.5% by Vol. Let's drink it.

Fully ebon, with a vast, long-lived tan head, looking proud and beautiful.

Aroma: malty, hoppy, sweet, smooth, complete and bold. This is so many things, blended marvelously into one. Mmm!

In the mouth: Chocolate meets grass, hoppy bite plus malty sweet and succulent. Big, rich, chewy. Bold, full, large in body and flavor, with a persistent hoppy bite. Never too bitter, though, Like the musical piece, it's bombastic, almost garish and a little bit loud, but never less than harmonizing and never far from melodic. Spills over in places, but mostly keeps it together and drives it's message home. Damnably delicious, and deceptively strong.

As you can probably tell, I've fixed the problem mentioned in the previous reviews from the Planets series, and I actually am listening to Holst as I drink the beer. This is the 1998 recording by the Atlanta Orchestra, conducted by Yoel Levy. Got it from my local library. Lord love the library.
(Or, you can click this link, and watch this gent explain it for you. If you wish to hear, without his help, I'm sure you'll find a way.

Bell's Mercury, The Winged Messenger

Bell's Mercury. The Winged Messenger. Alc. 4.8% by Vol.

Appearance: Clouded, bright golden coloring, solid white head atop.

Aroma: spicy (coriander?), floral, a touch of citrus, a little whiff of sour.

Taste: Brisk hoppiness right off the top, then smooth, slightly sweet. Wheaty. Medium-bodied, mellow, not sure what exactly this is supposed to be. Belgian blonde, wit? Hm. Nice beer, but unremarkable.

Once more, I'm a touch nonplussed. I really should have found a copy of "The Planets" to play while drinking, perhaps that would help me understand what this beer's raison d'être might be. What'll the label say? "This is one of a seven part series inspired by Gustav Holst's musical composition, "The Planets." Strap in and embark on a flavor tour of our solar system---in the order of Holst's piece. Mars to Neptune."

Well, that didn't tell me anything I didn't learn last time. What about Holst or Mercury inspired this particular beer? ….

Postal Script, some time later: I don't have a copy of The Planets, still. I keep forgetting to check the library, and then it dawned on me...everything's on YouTube. I still don't have internet access at home, so that wouldn't help while I drink the beer. But looking back at these notes, remembering the beer, listening to the music...it's light, breezy, jaunty, a little zesty, with splashes of spice....just like that hot planet and the fleet-footed messenger. I see it. I'm going to have to make I sure I get the music before I take one the next beer in the series.

Bell's Venus, The Bringer of Peace

Bell's Venus, The Bringer of Peace. Malt beverage brewed with apricot juice and honey with cardamom and vanilla beans added. Brewed and bottled by Bell's Brewery, Comstock, MI. Alc. 7.5% by Vol.

Slightly hazed, bright golden hue, slim white head.

Aroma: fruit, honey and spice. They're all there, beautifully blended.

Taste: Mmmm. Much sweetness up front, with a twist of tart. Fruity to a fault, with the spice adding some temperance. The fruit never falters, just fades some on the palate. With each new sip, the bomb bursts anew. Juicy fruit, with a blast of cardamom, then the fade-away.

This is one that I'll file under the "interesting" folder, the kind of beer I don't mind trying out, but would rarely return to, and am glad it exists. A fan? No, but neither a hater.


I'm curious why this recipe was used to honor the Venus passage of Holst's The Planets suite. Unfortunately, I'm still unfamiliar. Need to get to the library and borrow a copy. I'm still consulting Sun Ra in the meanwhile: "Rocket Number Nine take off for the planet, for the planet Venus."

Bell's Mars, The Bringer of War, Double IPA

Bell's Mars, The Bringer of War, Double India Pale Ale. Alc. 10.1% by Vol.
$4 for a 12 oz. bottle, where I found it. Better be good!

I know this is meant to go with Horst's The Planets, but I don't seem to have a copy around. So, I'm just putting on Coltrane's Interstellar Space and hope that works out. Wait, no. Sun Ra! He was from Saturn, you know. "We'll take a trip to space, the next stop Mars…the next stop, Mars…"

Appearance: clear, bright crimson coloring, under a slimmish, off-white head.

Aroma: Potent and pungent. This would be proper usage of the mis-used term "dank." Smells like Otto's jacket. Deeply  piney and resiny, citrus fruit stuffed in liquor bottles, then rolled on the forest floor, in search of your stash.

Taste: Massive mouthfeel. Intense. Fairly complex, floods the mouth with a multitude of sensations. Thick and slick on the palate, oozing hop bitterness and …and everything, man. yum.

Once in a while, you wonder that if after enough imperial IPAs, will you run out of things to say? Will it be more of the same, same ol' thing over and over again? It's true, I do wonder, I worry. But it's worth the worry to get to a good one like this.

Also, I wonder if the label tells us anything…"This is one of a seven part series inspired by Gustav Holst's musical composition "The Planets". Strap in and embark on a flavor tour of our solar system--in the order of Holst's piece. Mars to Neptune."

Since I was taking a trip with Sun Ra, instead of Holst, I beg to differ. "Second stop is Jupiter."