Capital Supper Club

This weekend, along with my sister, her boyfriend, and my nephew, I crossed through the state of Wisconsin, America's dairy heartland, twice. Cheese, Packers fans and beer. What else do you need? (Consider this a rhetorical question.)

So, my first beer on returning home is a lager from Capital Brewing that I've never tried, a gift from the sample man. (You may have gathered that the sample man is not an individual, but a spirit, an essence, the collective soul of beer salesmen.) This sample man has a lot of interesting brands, but he brought me on that day two Capital beers, one I've had before, and this one, the Supper Club lager. Because Wisconsin has what they call "supper clubs." It's a Wisconsin thing. I don't even pretend to understand.

Capital Supper Club. "A Wisconsin State of Mind." "Not bad. That's the end of the gobbledygook. 5% ABV.

Clear, bright golden coloring, soon-gone ivory head.

Soft, light aromatics. Not a lot here.

In the mouth, and on the tongue, it's light, it's clean, slightly grainy, delicate malt. Light body. Perfectly consumable. Good balance, steers just short of sweet.

The lager sets out to do something and does it right. Classic American pale lager. I would drink it again if I had to, but thank goodness I don't have to.

DC Brau On The Wings of Armageddon Imperial IPA

DC Brau On the Wings of Armageddon Imperial IPA, brewed and canned by DC Brau Brewing, LLC. 9.2 % Alc/Vol.

Appearance: hazy, pale gold color, apricot-ish, with a creamy white head.

Aroma: Gorgeous. Tropical fruit meets pine resin, mango, grapefruit, tangerine and more. Loud and pithy.

Taste: Packs a punch on the palate, smacking the senses with big hoppiness. After first sip, though, all is calm. Juicy fruit character blasts the tongue, then clean and cool. Medium body, sweet malt flavor, and non-stop hop bitterness. For a hop-head like me, it's highly likable. Yeah, for an Imperial IPA lover like myself, it's fairly right-on.

After that last DC Brau beer and having seen the label art and knowing the apocalyptic name, I'm betting there's some overly ominous, drastically dramatic, right out of Tolkien-style overwrought verbiage on the side of the can. Let's find out! "And so it was written…According to Mayan and Hopi calendars, the "transition from one world to another" will happen on December 21, 2012. As an homage to the "transition" DC Brau has concocted an Imperial IPA named "On the wings of Armageddon."

I'm a little let down by that. I wanted something from a heavy metal song lyric, or from a Conan the Barbarian novel. (thanks again to Dave A. for the can.)

Michelob Golden Draft Light

I am so behind with the products of Anheuser-Busch. But, you know what? I haven't reviewed that many beers by this great brewing concern, because, really, you know what? They suck. We all know it.

I've done four of theirs so far here, Natural Ice, Budweiser, Bud Light, and Bud Light Platinum. What have I written about already, yet not included here? Spring Heat Spiced Wheat, which is now known as  "Shock Top", I do believe. Michelob Winter's Bourbon Cask Ale and Michelob Celebrate Vanilla Oak...when will I see those again? Okay, O'Doul's Amber, we can get to that...and, Michelob Ultra Fruit Lime Cactus??? Did I drink that? Whoa! Would I ever wish to again???

The only one left, that I have easy access to, and have already written about is Michelob Golden Draft Light, which I am drinking now from a bottle, but which I first took notes on, for some reason, from a plastic cup, on tap, in a VFW lodge at a family wedding, which seems to happen a lot, lately. As I suffer through this damned thing, look at these notes on that terrible cup, from June of 2005:


There we are at the Buffalo, MN American Foreign Legion Lodge for my niece's wedding reception, and the common misconception is that the only beer that is provided gratis is this, the most popular beer in Minnesota, and the only thing on tap. The tap handle said "Michelob Golden Light", no "Draft", which made me wonder if it was another beer...nope, just more confusion.
Pale yellow, in the plastic cup, with a slim head.
No aroma.
All water, all the time....a glint of beery flavor appears, then blinks away in an instant..this is definitely for people who don't care what they put in their mouths, and haven't a clue, nor care, how much better beer can be...
...anyone who thinks they're drinking beer when they drink this?...I just pray for them...
...just picture the clamor when we realized the whole bar was free, and there was no need to stick to this swill!

It's just bad. And I feel bad for anyone who chooses it. Why drink this, ever? Come on, people!

Miller Genuine Draft

Ten years ago, I still had a little bit of crap on tap. Thought I needed it, had to have it, etc. This was then, now it's now. So, one day, just to do the review, I sat down with a glass of MGD poured from the tap and wrote the following notes. Today, I have one from a bottle, and don't give me any guff about the Saison Dupont glass used to hold this excrement, it was handy, and I don't have any Miller glassware around, o woe is me.

So, without further ado, while I struggle through this bottle, here are notes from April of 2003, on Miller Genuine Draft:


I've spent more time in the company of this beer than I'm comfortable with, but not by drinking it, no, through serving to the customers at my bar. Happily, it's the only macro-crap I've got on tap, but it's exceedingly popular among those masses that I haven't the time or power to change their minds. In the name of research, curiosity, or maybe sadomasochism I venture forth to review a small sampling of this wretched brew.

Color: very pale yellow,nearly invisible, the very match of urine. Head: tall, fluffy, pure snow white.

Aroma: zilch, zero, zip. I flared my nosrtils deep to try to detect something or anything but came up bone-dry, with maybe a touch of soap and flowers.

Mouthfeel is a rough and harsh terrain, with a grainy sweetness to be traversed in every sip. A horrid brashness exists in every attempt to gulp and it leaves a non-existent finish, as if the offending liquid wished no memory to remain of it's brief stay in the mouth. It passes through quickly, leaving not a trace, but only bad memories. The perfect beer for those who don't give a damn what goes down their gullet. No hops are felt, no malt, no body, no texture.

That's when I got it. I'd gone about it all wrong! Every time I tried to taste this sad excuse for a beer, I winced and pulled away, embittered and beated aback, every time this swill passed through my lips. When I merely gulped back and stopped thinking, however, there was no problem, no sirree, bob!
I wonder how people drink this stuff, then I realize that they've been hoodwinked!
Somehow, they've been convinced that this foul concoction is actual beer and the Miller Brewing Co. is happy to provide.
Lord save us all...

Hamm's (The Beer Refreshing)

Six years ago, March of 2007, was the first time I sat down with a can of Hamm's to share my experience with the world. I'm drinking another one right this very minute. Here are those old notes:


Refreshing as the land of sky-blue waters (wa-a-ters)
Land of Lake and Pine
cool enchantment
comes the beer refreshing,
Hamm's, the beer refreshing,

Hamm's...

if you know anything about Minnesota beer history, you know that jingle.
And I can't believe it's taken me this long to get to a can of Hamm's!

"Since 1865", says the can. Also, "America's Classic Premium Beer, Born in the land of sky blue waters." (Hey, that's here!) "Brewed in true family tradition from purest water and choicest barley malt, grain, and hops." Goody!

Ultra-clear, straw yellow color, some bone-white head at first, then it's gone.

Grainy nose, with some sweet malt evident, faint hops, but that's par for the style...wait, now I get it, it's injecting some bare bitterness into the sweet malt factor, arriving at a funky feel. Definitely not bad, not unpleasant, with some character.

Taste: not much here, mostly moisture. Slim flavors, if any...grainyness, at best. Malt is shy in this respect, the water rises above anything else. It's like lemonade without the lemon, and Kool-Aid without the Kool.

I can't really recommend Hamm's at all to anyone, unless your chief factors in deciding on a beer are cheapness of price and wateryness of flavor. There are many out there that fall into this category, Lord Love 'Em. I have a hard time knocking it...it's not bad, it is what it is...but, it's not much.

And they had a cool macot once, dress up in his costume, visit a strip club, and see what happens...

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That last part is a reference to my former salesrep pal, Corey Shovein, formerly of Hohensteins, local seller of Hamm's. He's given up the bear suit. Maybe Surly will have a mascot that he can parade around as?

I stand behind my old review, but it's not as terrible as all that, not offensive, anyway. Just not what I would choose to drink. Except now, of course. Taking one for the team, once more, that's me.