Dogfish Head Slightly Mighty Lo-Cal IPA

Dogfish Head Slightly Mighty Lo-Cal IPA. 4 % ABV. 30 IBU.
Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Milton, DE.

Clear, bright golden color, slim ivory head.

In the nose: Big citric aromatics, pine. lemon & lime, grapefruit.

In the mouth: Small bitterness at the front, soft malt body. Just enough flavor to make it worthwhile, but not enough hop bitterness to call it an IPA. Or, maybe I'm wrong. About being enough flavor? Maybe...

Soft, supple, easily consumable. Is it merely a session IPA, or is it truly a groundbreaking lo-calorie IPA? I can't decide, but I'm close to calling it boring. Clearly, it's not for me. Maybe others will enjoy it's low-key, low-cal, low-everything nature.

A lo-cal IPA that is slight in cals and carbs with mighty hop flavor! Slightly Mighty has all the flavor and tropical aromas of a world class IPA, but with only 95 calories, 3.6g carbs, 1g protein and 0g fat. Brewed with locally-grown barley, and a touch of monk fruit that delivers body and complexity but adds zero calories or carbs, Slightly Mighty is light-bodied and offers a lingering balanced sweetness. 

Budweiser

Continuing with thoughts on the St. Louis giant, the Belgian-owned Anheuser-Busch brewery, I notice how few of their beers I've had, how little of their number I've taken notes on. I blame all my sales reps from the Bud distributors for not bringing me samples of Bud Light Lime and Lime Chelada and American Ale and Select and Select 55 and Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit and Shock Top, and ...you know, what? Thank you, current and former Budweiser sales people for NOT bringing these beers to me. But, if they would have, you'd hear about it, that I guarantee you.

Here are notes from December, 2005, the day I decided to write about a bottle of Budweiser. You're welcome:


Born on October 19, 2005, Happy 2 month anniversary, bottle of Budweiser!

Paley-pale, palest of the pale yellow, and crystal clear, head starts thick, then slides down to a negligible ring, always bone white, until it's a shallow pool of bubbles.

Aroma: bright, sweet, then empty. Far-off echo of hops, but mostly vegetal, with a switch of straw. Corn and rice, you bet.

Taste: Wetness crowds the scene first in here, lots of water in this. Thin bodied, ...and I'm searching and scratching for any real kind of flavor. Water and corn, plus fizz...?

Harsh carbonation, very active on the palate, extraordinarily fizzy all over the tongue, and that's not a good thing. To me, anyway. I'm wincing as I drink, and I have witnessed plenty of people toss it back without trouble. Relax, relax...

Dull, dry finish. Nothing resonates in the memory, or the mind, but neither was anything supposed to...knock 'em back, set up all over again...why worry about taste?

There's nothing really wrong with The King of Beers, but neither is there anything good about it.

Crisp, yes. Refreshing...maybe. The carbonation bugs me too much, I'll take water instead. Smooth? Maybe, but at what cost? I could use a little flavor...hello, malt? Hops? Drinkability? Mmmm...not for this cat, I could drink it, but I'd be so bored, my soul would shudder and thoughts of self-ruination would rumble in my brain.

Good thing there are plenty of other choices.
But, if you dig it, hey, knock yourself out. Don't let me get in your way.

Bud Light

You know what's amazing? Looking at statistics, the king of page-views in the history of this blog is my review of Bud Light Platinum, which was nearing 500 "looks" since the last time I checked. (Who knows how many of them were "reads"?)Why did that many people read my review of that beer? Why don't half that many check out the reviews of beers I like, and highly recommend? And how did that many find it? I've checked and checked, and can't find a link, or anything. Well, word must go around.

So, to see if there's something out in the universe that leads internet perusers to glance at my words about Anheuser-Busch products, here is my review of Bud Light, from November of 2003. Here come the notes...

Bud Light, American Light Lager, 4.2% ABV, 27 IBU. Anheuser-Busch, a wholly owned subsidiary of Anheuser-Busch InBev, St. Louis, Missouri and countless other locations.


What I am about to do now is true anomaly in the realm of this beer. I am going to open it, and pour it...into a glass. Really, this must happen once every 10,000,000 times this beer is consumed.

Color is a nothingness that yearns to be a thin, wan yellow shade, but can't quite do it. Well, I can see my hand on the other side of the glass, so that means it's a "real beer", right?

Aroma: too nice a word to use. "Stink" delivers more meaning. Ricey and sweet and sickly and sad, sharp and unpleasant.
Good head, though.

Taste? Again, that's not what they have in mind when they brew this, but I'll see what I can find...I can only wince, with every sip, so maybe I shouldn't be sipping. How about if I gulp it down? Hey, that didn't hurt at all! It went all the way down my throat, and soon it'll leave the opposite way. Didn't leave a trace through it's travels.

If one samples this, and attempts to examine it, it's nothing but repulsive. Throw them back by the caseful, the way they want you to, and it's another utterly meaningless exercise in mass consumption.
Water tastes a Hell of a lot better, and is cheaper, too!

Clearly, not brewed with the likes of me in mind, but hey, if you enjoy draining bottles and cans of nothingness down your gullet, be my guest.
--------------------

Nearly nine years ago, I thought this had a "good head". Not this time. And I rate it even lower now. It's not horribly tasting, it's just not...tasting.

Bud Light is brewed using a blend of premium aroma hop varieties, both American-grown and imported, and a combination of barley malts and rice. Its superior drinkability and refreshing flavor makes it the world’s favorite light beer.

Miller Lite

You know how it is here at the Bitter Nib: we take it for the team, going for the gold as well as the dross, in an effort to get to bottom of everything beer. Toward that, I revisit, the time I checked out the Lite beer from Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I wrote these notes in December, 2005. Here we go...


Continuing my survey of light beer, onward, and....upward?

Tremendously transparent, pale golden hue, slim slab of froth that disappers assuredly, while bubble float up from below. "Looks like a beer."

Aroma: wispy corny sweetness, and little else.

Taste: soft, then crisp, then gone. Lightness is indeed represented in full here, and any flavor that is present is absent before you notice. Doesn"t taste "bad" mind you, and there's a brief bit of malt and grain, enough that I'd say it lives up to it's advertising.

Dry, lightly citric finish, intensely carbonated, faint body. It does what it's supposed to....

Could it actually be happening that i"m saying good things about miller lite? What's next, I'll join the Garth Brooks fan club? Eat all my meals at Hardee's? Throw out my book collection and spend all my time in front of the Tee Vee?

Well, if that's all you want from a beer, lightness, wetness, a modicum of flavor, and the usual amount of booze, here it is, enjoy.

I'll still opt for more hops, more malt, more actual taste, and count us all lucky that such things are indeed in plentiful supply.

Bud Light Platinum

Bud Light Platinum. Wow. Platinum. 6% ABV. Triple Fermented, I hear. Anheuser Busch, St. Louis, MO. Lager 12 fl. oz. Born on date: 12007vx78. whatever that means.

"Platinum ( /ˈplætɨnəm/ or /ˈplætənəm/) is a chemical element with the chemical symbol Pt and an atomic number of 78."

Yellow, no head. Active carbonation. Not appealing to look at. Could have just the same being peering at my toilet bowl. But no one is really looking at this, it's being chugged from a bottle.

Even though it has six naturally occurring isotopes, platinum is one of the rarest elements in the Earth's crust and has an average abundance of approximately 5 μg/kg. It is the least reactive metal. It occurs in some nickel and copper ores along with some native deposits, mostly in South Africa, which accounts for 80% of the world production.

Aroma: cereal grains. Probably a lot of rice. Nothing else. Wet water and weak everything else. Moist air. 

As a member of the platinum group of elements, as well as of the group 10 of the periodic table of elements, platinum is generally non-reactive. It exhibits a remarkable resistance to corrosion, even at high temperatures, and as such is considered a noble metal. As a result, platinum is often found chemically uncombined as native platinum. Because it occurs naturally in the alluvial sands of various rivers, it was first used by pre-Columbian South American natives to produce artifacts. It was referenced in European writings as early as 16th century, but it was not until Antonio de Ulloa published a report on a new metal of Colombian origin in 1748 that it became investigated by scientists.

Taste: must I? I must. Tons of carbonation. Bristling bubblation on the palate, then gone, then nothing. Nothing from nothing means nothing. Gotta have something. And we got nothing. The tongue sticks in the liquid and pulls out…nothing. The mind races for something and comes back with nothing. Is it a beer? Is it a plane? It's …nothing. It's watered down alcopops. It's a bottle of Smirnoff Ice added to a gallon of ice water. 

Platinum is used in catalytic converters, laboratory equipment, electrical contacts and electrodes, platinum resistance thermometers, dentistry equipment, and jewelry. Because only a few hundred tonnes are produced annually, it is a scarce material, and is highly valuable and is a major precious metal commodity. Being a heavy metal, it leads to health issues upon exposure to its salts, but due to its corrosion resistance, it is not as toxic as some metals. Its compounds, most notablycisplatin, are applied in chemotherapy against certain types of cancer.^[2]

Enough carbonation to make you think you're drinking beer. But, that would be a lie and that would be wrong. What could I say to sell this more than "less watery than water"? "Less pungent than pee?"

As a pure metal, platinum is silvery-white, lustrous, ductile, and malleable.^[3] Platinum is more ductile than gold, silver and copper, thus being the most ductile of pure metals, but gold is still more malleable than platinum ^[4][5] It does not oxidize at any temperature, although it is corroded by halogens, cyanides, sulfur, and caustic alkalis. Platinum is insoluble inhydrochloric and nitric acid, but dissolves in hot aqua regia to form chloroplatinic acid, H₂PtCl₆.^[6]

Blah, blah, blah. Wait, I meant, "fullest expression yet known of Bud Light. Bud Light to the Nth Degree. Ne Plus ultra Bud Light. Etcetera."

Higher alcohol, no extra flavor or body, Bud Light Blah. I don't know how else to explain it.

Platinum is an extremely rare metal,^[11] occurring at a concentration of only 0.005ppm in the Earth's crust.^[12][13] It is sometimes mistaken for silver (Ag). Platinum is often found chemically uncombined as native platinum and alloyed with iridium as platiniridium. Most often the native platinum is found in secondary deposits; platinum is combined with the other platinum group metals in alluvial deposits. The alluvial deposits used by pre-Columbian people in the Chocó Department, Colombiaare still a source for platinum group metals. Another large alluvial deposit is in the Ural Mountains, Russia, and it is still mined.^[6]

Who is this meant for, I wonder? Bud Light drinkers who want to step up, but not all the way to Budweiser, or Select, or what-have-you? Drinkers who want watery, but not that watery?

Platinum's rarity as a metal has caused advertisers to associate it with exclusivity and wealth. "Platinum" debit cards have greater privileges than do "gold" ones.^[52] "Platinum awards" are the second highest possible, ranking above "gold", "silver" and "bronze", but below diamond. For example, in the United States, a musical album that has sold more than 1 million copies, will be credited as "platinum", whereas an album that sold more than 10 million copies will be certified as "diamond".^[53] Some products, such as blenders and vehicles, with a silvery-white color are identified as "platinum". Platinum is considered a precious metal, although its use is not as common as the use of gold or silver. The frame of the Crown of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, manufactured for her coronation as Consort of King George VI, is made of platinum. It was the first British crown to be made of this particular metal.

Ah, ha! I knew there had to be a reason this is called "Platinum." I knew it wasn't found in alluvial deposits, and it's most certain to oxidize in certain temperatures. How precious and rare is this beer? That is yet to be seen. I haven't found anything in it to convince me it will last.

But, I hope you enjoyed learning about Platinum! Thanks, Wikipedia!

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