Bent Brewstillery Dark Fatha American Emperical Stout

Bent Brewstillery Dark Fatha American Empirical Stout. (whatever that means). Brewed in Minnesota, brewed and bottled by Bent Brewstillery, Roseville, MN. Est. 2012. Alc. 9.3% by Vol, 57 IBU. SRM 60.

The label depicts Darth Vader in a pimp suit. Cute gag, but not sure of the point. Dark beer. Dark Lord of the Sith. Purple robes and chain, feathered hats…something got skipped.

It's solid blackness, that's for sure. Richly roasted tan head, lush and plush.

Aroma: many flavors unfolding. Molasses. Espresso. Cocoa nibs. Some anise. Dark rum. Nice.

Taste: Arrives rather cool on the palate, delivering dark fruit flavors, rich malt character, dry chocolate and coffee notes. Sweetness always held in check, kept at bay, nicely dry. I'd have to say medium-bodied, for it just isn't as full as we'd want from an Imperial Stout. But, no, this is an "Emperical Stout", which has to mean something. It's flavorful, and the alcohol has started to ring in for real and for true. It's like an Imperial Stout that doesn't want to go all the way. It's pussied out. Maybe there's a reason for not doing an Imperial Stout right?

Maybe it's on the label? "This distinctive hybrid beer style combines the crisp, clean feel of a light ale with the dark cocoa roasted smoothness of a stout."

With all due respect, that's one of the dumbest things I've read on a bottle of booze in a long time. Compared to a true Russian Imperial Stout, it's a dismal failure. Compared to this hybrid style nobody asked for, this American Emperical Stout, well, it's crashing success. I guess.

Me, I'm left feeling dull and deadening. All of the alcohol and none of the fun. I need the richness and fullness for a beer this boozy. Seriously, who asked for a hybrid of light and strong? Makes no sense. A poor decision.

Like having Darth Vader carry balloons in his hand and speak like Daffy Duck.
Or making Greedo shoot first. This one is weak with the force.

Mankato Ceres Summer Ale

Mankato Ceres Summer Ale. american wheat ale. 4.5% ABV. 24 IBU.

Clear, bright golden coloring, under a sizable, milky white head of lacing foam.

Aroma: cereal grains, minor hops, some malt sweetness. Grape Nuts meets Granola.

Taste: Wetness, lightness, and not much else. Cereal-y, for sure, very minimal malt, and exceedingly minimal flavor. It's a light one, an easy-drinker, a patio-pleaser, and definitely one for the in-laws and the poker buddies. Good for the dock or the boat or for cooking with what ever you want to do with it, but it's not for me. Clearly, they didn't think of me when they invented Ceres Summer Ale.

Well, that's okay, more for the rest of them.

"You will find this beer in your local bars, restaurants, and liquor stores in April and gone sometime in July.

Named for the Roman goddess of agriculture and grain, Mankato Brewery’s Ceres Summer Ale is a crisp take on an American Wheat Ale. The barley and wheat malts are complimented with lively hops and sweet orange peel, for a refreshing finish."

Honestly, I didn't encounter the wheat anywhere in this pint. Huh. What do you know about that?

Bud Light

You know what's amazing? Looking at statistics, the king of page-views in the history of this blog is my review of Bud Light Platinum, which was nearing 500 "looks" since the last time I checked. (Who knows how many of them were "reads"?)Why did that many people read my review of that beer? Why don't half that many check out the reviews of beers I like, and highly recommend? And how did that many find it? I've checked and checked, and can't find a link, or anything. Well, word must go around.

So, to see if there's something out in the universe that leads internet perusers to glance at my words about Anheuser-Busch products, here is my review of Bud Light, from November of 2003. Here come the notes...

Bud Light, American Light Lager, 4.2% ABV, 27 IBU. Anheuser-Busch, a wholly owned subsidiary of Anheuser-Busch InBev, St. Louis, Missouri and countless other locations.


What I am about to do now is true anomaly in the realm of this beer. I am going to open it, and pour it...into a glass. Really, this must happen once every 10,000,000 times this beer is consumed.

Color is a nothingness that yearns to be a thin, wan yellow shade, but can't quite do it. Well, I can see my hand on the other side of the glass, so that means it's a "real beer", right?

Aroma: too nice a word to use. "Stink" delivers more meaning. Ricey and sweet and sickly and sad, sharp and unpleasant.
Good head, though.

Taste? Again, that's not what they have in mind when they brew this, but I'll see what I can find...I can only wince, with every sip, so maybe I shouldn't be sipping. How about if I gulp it down? Hey, that didn't hurt at all! It went all the way down my throat, and soon it'll leave the opposite way. Didn't leave a trace through it's travels.

If one samples this, and attempts to examine it, it's nothing but repulsive. Throw them back by the caseful, the way they want you to, and it's another utterly meaningless exercise in mass consumption.
Water tastes a Hell of a lot better, and is cheaper, too!

Clearly, not brewed with the likes of me in mind, but hey, if you enjoy draining bottles and cans of nothingness down your gullet, be my guest.
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Nearly nine years ago, I thought this had a "good head". Not this time. And I rate it even lower now. It's not horribly tasting, it's just not...tasting.

Bud Light is brewed using a blend of premium aroma hop varieties, both American-grown and imported, and a combination of barley malts and rice. Its superior drinkability and refreshing flavor makes it the world’s favorite light beer.