Pryes El Camino Hazelnut Macaron Pasty Stout

Pryes El Camino Hazelnut Macaron Pasty Stout.

9% ABV, 28 IBU. Pryes Brewing, Minneapolis, MN. 

Maybe I said it, and maybe I didn't, but the facts are, folks, that the Bitter Nib is boycotting "pastry stout". Also, "pastry porters", "pastry ales", "pastry lagers"...everything "pastry." Did I mention why? Pretty sure I have, probably a hundred times. And, occasionally they slip in, though. Like when they don't call it a "pastry stout" on the front of the label and they do on the back. They tricked me! 

Also, if the beer falls into my possession somehow, through some other means than purchasing it by myself. And this one became mine when a co-worker could not drink another and gave her last can to me. I wanted to give her a beer, to make it a fair trade, but she refused, feeling it was unworthy of such retribution. How can I not be intrigued? I must try the thing that so turned her off. Perhaps she has become twice-shy after being bitten? Currently, she is exploring Belgian beers. I hope she finds the delight in them that I do and indeed becomes a convert. I think she has a good head on her shoulders and will come on into the good side. 

Enough palaver, let's crack it open and see what's inside...

Dark brown coloration, slim brown head, murky, to say it best. 

In the nose: Intense sweetness from the start, vanilla, coconut, caramel, chocolate. All the sweet, gooey-ness. "Rich hazelnut, cacao, and nougat" says the label. 

In the mouth: From sip one, nothing but sweet candy bar and cocoa. Hazelnut, sure, but all kinds of sticky-icky. Unbalanced malt out the wazoo. Saccharine sweet, treacly...I am truly finding no joy in this. Perhaps it's what you want, this out of control, sticky sugary mess. Not me. 

Look at this flavor wheel on the back. Not so strong with bitterness or roast, but lots or hazelnut, almond, fudge and cookie. Fudge and Cookie. 

It's a once in a while treat, a sometimes indulgence. Once a lifetime, maybe. This way lies diabetes. 

Damn, this could use some balance. A little, at least. These candy bar beers, and pie beers, and cake beers, and frosting beers, and cotton candy beers, and fucking French toast beers...it's way time people grew up and got over this shit. I've said it before, the infantilization of beer. This whole thing of holding ones toes, rolling on one's back and giggling, "whee! It's like drinking something I ate when I was three!!!" 

God, it's stupid. And now the high alcohol is starting to ring in. Good gravy, I'm going to get drunk on a "cookie beer". How low can I go? 

Pastry Stout | Hazelnut, Cocoa, Rich | 9.0% ABV | 28 IBU | El Camino is “The Way”. This beer is your path down the road to rich hazelnut, cacao and nougat. Prepare for a smooth ride. Away we go.