Root Sellers Row Hard Root Beer

Root Sellers Formidable Fermentaries Row Hard Root Beer. 6.7% Alcohol by Volume.

So, these days, the thing is hard root beer. Not Your Fathers. Or Your Grandfathers. And here's another one. It was "gifted" to me by a Sample Man. I don't even know who, it just showed up. I suppose if I love it and need to sell it, I'll find out. That's the question, though. Will I love it? Will it be wonderful? Let's find out...

Dark brown coloring, no head, dull brown highlights...

Root beer aromatics. What are those exactly? How often do we think of the flavors of a root beers? We just drink it, we don't dissect it. What, then, are these? Cola, clove, ...tree bark? Gosh, I'm stumped. What do we talk about when we talk about root beer? I'm rooting around the forest and digging up the dirt. What is it?

Taste: In the mouth, yeah, it tastes like root beer. Bubbly, fresh, zingy, spicy, ...but not resembling beer, at all. Missing the malt, and hops are absent. Sweet, spicy, rustic...but not beery.
Is this thing supposed to be a beer that tastes like a root beer, as Not Your Father's claims? Let's read the label.......Government warnings...nutrition facts...ah, ingredients: "water, sugar, molasses, natural flavors, sodium bicarbonate, Gum Arabic, and spices."

So, it's not a beer that tastes like a root beer, it's a root beer, with booze, somehow. And I'm getting it, that pleasant feeling in my brain is coming along nicely.

Wait, there's more! "Root Beer is a quintessentially American beverage first brewed by colonist using domestic roots, herbs and spices. These historic small beers did not contain much alcohol. Root Sellers has created a BIG root beer with an alcoholic content that pays homage to it's roots...and, yes, it's great with ice cream. No wheat, no barley, no gluten...You're Welcome." Root Sellers, Memphis, Tenn. "It's a Jolly Good Day for a Boat Flight!"

I don't care for this. It remains beyond my understanding why anyone would want to get high off of a soft drink. Adult drinks have adult flavors. Come on, it's just silly. I'll drink root beer when I'm not trying to get lifted. Plain and simple. The notion of getting drunk off of a root beer....actually, I did a comic strip about it when I was eight years old. I was a freaking visionary. Wish I'd kept the collected comic works of the young Al. Signs of things to come....