Monday, December 19, 2011

Ass Kisser Double IPA


Ass Kisser Double IPA, A Great Drink on the Special Ass Kissing Days…Perfect for the Boss. 9% ALC./VOL., India Pale Ale, 1 pint, 6 fluid ounces. Brewed by Rahr and Sons Brewery of Fort Worth, Texas. Ass Kisser Beverage Company. www.asskisserales.

What a terrible name for a beer and/or brewery. But, they got me to buy one. It's a case study, in marketing. Could the beer be better than the name is idiotic? 

Let's see what they say…"Kick Ass Ale. {wait, now we're kicking, not kissing?} Ass Kisser Ale is a state of mind! Just as you contemplate the flavors of this fine ale you can contemplate sharing a bottle with a friend or your boss. Maybe they are one in the same. {not "one and the same"?} And then again maybe not! We are just sayin'!
{I think this was written by morons.}
Ass Kisser Double IPA is a rich malty ale that has warm carmel {sic} notes that open up as it warms up to your glass. {huh?} It pairs with foods with spice and aromas like asian 5 spice or curries. To get maximum aroma and flavor, pour this ale into a snifter style glass. This ale is made to take the edge of  {sic} a long day.! made from caring hands that understand what it takes to have to kiss a little to get anywhere these days. Enjoy! {Incidentally, I corrected the places where words are separated without dashes to indicate, such as "under…stand", and "contemn…plate"}

This was written by mental deficients, and conceived by them, as well. I hope it wasn't brewed by them, as well. Here we go…into a snifter style glass. 

Rich rubyness, tight off-white head.
Big, bold, and pungent aromatics. Beefed-up and all that rich toffee-ness, and all bitterness of an outrageous hop bomb. Reminds me of a barleywine, more than a double IPA. Or maybe that's where we are these days, with the blurring of the lines. Give this to me blind, and I'd definitely call it a barleywine, not double IPA.

Let's drink! Boom! Ah! Bam! Ooof! Ow! A full-on assault, no respite, no relief, no subtleties, or nothing. Thick, and huge, and abrasively bitter. Nothing but everything is in here, and it boom-shaka-lakka, blasts everything in it's path. Brash, indelicate, and over-bearing. 

Full-bodied, full, long finish, but too, too everything. This is a roller coaster ride. One minute it's loud, next it's cool, then it's bubbling, bitter soup that confuses the palate. I should like this, card-carrying hop-head that I am, but one has to be discriminating, and here's where I discriminate. 

1 comment:

Kris said...

Wow! I'd have a hard time drinking it after a full read of the label. Clearly the TTB could give a rip if the text makes sense, as long as it doesn't say something they don't like. Thanks for taking one for the team, Al.

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